Glowing Grey

Sometimes we’re required to make the hard decisions and it’s not always easy to use our head over our heart. But what do you do when what feels right conflicts with your own values and where you are in life right now.

We lost my beautiful MIL early in the year and she has left a gaping hole in our family that will take a lot of time before it can begin to fill. She always shone with light and positivity, regardless of the circumstances, and had a mind as sharp as a tack, even at 86.

But the last few years had not been kind to her physically and we began to notice that all the little things she would normally do with so much energy and vigor were getting a little harder and everything began to ever so slowly get a little out of control.

Her passing was peaceful. They believe that hearing is often the last of the senses to go so it makes it a little easier knowing that her last moments may have been filled with her loved ones quietly talking together and laughing at a time that was filled with such sadness.

In a moment that was so heartbreaking there was also so much love and togetherness and it’s in these moments that you realise what is truly important and valuable.

The Problem

Generations before us lived through some very difficult times causing a mindset of ‘waste not want not’ which not only filled every cupboard to capacity and the garage to the rafters, but fast forward to now, has lead to some serious overwhelm (and a couple of meltdowns) at the sheer volume of stuff to sort through during a time that is already emotionally unstable.

Let’s face it, we all live busy lives and taking months and months to declutter and organise what should have been done years ago is a burden, both physically and mentally, regardless of how much you were loved.

We’ve learned one very valuable thing during this process – we do not EVER want to leave this kind of mess for our boys to sort through.

Swedish Death Cleaning

In her book The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning: How to Free Yourself and Your Family from a Lifetime of Clutter, Margareta Magnusson introduces us to a process whereby we take into consideration our loved ones who will be forced to deal with all our possessions after we have passed.

Ok, so maybe this sounds a little morbid but it doesn’t need to be.

Why should we be waiting for the end of our lives to be thinking about this. Midlife is the perfect time to be reassessing all our belongings and discarding what is no longer important to us. It is just as much about working out what we don’t want in our lives anymore as it is about what we do.

From our clothes to our furniture to our photos to our digital files, Swedish Death Cleaning asks us to assess the value of our items not only in our own lives but also inevitably in the lives of our family and friends.

Where to Start

Let’s understand that this is not a one time deal. Decluttering should be an ongoing process that routinely cycles through the rooms of our home. Andrew and I have been slowly decluttering our home for the past 2-3 years as we begin the process of downsizing ahead of retirement. We still have areas to tackle (like my craft room and his shed, aka the Tardis) but we were on a roll until our plans were put on hold.

Magnussen suggests starting with large and less sentimental items such as furniture and clothing and finishing with smaller more personal items such as photographs and letters.

If this seems too daunting, try starting with a kitchen drawer or the bathroom cupboard. Short on time? Set a timer for 10 – 30 minutes depending on what you can spare. It’s surprising how much you can accomplish in a small amount of time.

The key is to just start and your momentum will build.

The Joy of Giving & Donating

Donating and gifting items is a wonderful way to not only declutter things from your home but ensuring they have the best opportunity to be useful to someone else.

One big thing to remember is your possessions hold your memories and they may not be as valuable to your family and friends. Magnussen suggests asking, “Will someone be happier if I keep this?” If not, why are you holding onto it?

This is the perfect opportunity to gift those special items to your family and friends now. I’m sure they’ll appreciate it more knowing it came directly from you.

My Mum is a great declutterer and so good at keeping all her cupboards under control (except her craft room, must be hereditary). For many years she had a beautiful set of vintage naked lady stem glasses (6 different styles) that my sisters and I had coveted. They spent our childhood in the wall unit, safe from clumsy, sticky little hands and we were never ever allowed to touch them. During one of Mum’s clean outs she gifted them to each of us and we continue to treat them with the delicacy they have come to expect. They are special after all.

Making Space for What Matters

Our belongings not only take up physical space in our homes but can occupy too much mental space. Decluttering gives us the opportunity to lighten the load, breathe a little easier and appreciate the things that matter the most to us in life.

By organising our homes now and not waiting until it may be too late, we can enjoy all those years ahead, surrounded by only the things that bring us joy, hold our special memories and free us up for what matters most, our relationships with others and all the experiences we are yet to have.

Until next time,

So are you a collector or a decluttered? How do you feel about sorting out your cupboards at this time in your life? Thank you for reading.