Glowing Grey

It’s been a little quiet around here lately and that’s ok. It feels strange to be typing out my thoughts, my fingers and brain a little rusty but here we go none the less.

Ups and Downs

It’s been a difficult year for our family and though we have finally dotted all the I’s and crossed all our T’s (nearly all), it has taken a toll over the last nearly 10 months. We are tired, and when you have a chronic illness, sometimes you just need to stow the guilt and put yourself first.

They say that life isn’t meant to be easy and we should be thankful for that. Difficult moments, after all, are what help us identify and appreciate the good times.

But sometimes the hard parts can feel as though they are never ending. Your energy levels begin to dwindle and leave you feeling drained and deflated.

Stepping Back

The one major lesson I have learned over the past few years is that it is not a weakness to simply put your hands up and say I need some time out.

Over the last couple of months I have listened to my body and adjusted my day accordingly. It’s a never-ending balancing act of when to push and get things done and when to step back and take things easy.

Self care is not selfish and I still need to tell myself that on a regular basis.

The Sun Will Rise in the Morning

No matter how bad things can feel, the world will continue to move regardless.

It’s a little humbling to know that the world will continue to turn and the sun will continue to rise whether you have made an appearance or not. Some people may find that depressing but I don’t. Quite the opposite actually.

When we understand that we are simply a grain of sand on the beach of life it helps to put things into perspective. As much as we may argue the fact, we are no more special than anyone else and our problems don’t magically trump the problems facing the world today.

But there is a silver lining and a whole lot of space to simply step away.

It’s Ok to not be Ok

If the world is going to continue whether you show up or not means, in the whole scheme of things, it’s ok to take a day (or two or three) off. The world will pick up the slack and give you the time you need to rest before getting back on deck and back to reality.

I found this poem the other day which sums up my feelings lately:

Not OKay
I am not okay today.
So, in the absence of okay,
What else can I be?

I can be gentle.
I can be unashamed.
I can turn my pain into connection.
I can be a student of stillness.
I can be awake to nature.
I can sharpen my empathy
against the stone of my discomfort.

I am not okay,
but I am many worthy things.

           - Jarod K Anderson

So I have had my rest, am feeling refreshed and ready to get back to it.

Until next time,

Thank you for reading.