Glowing Grey

Let’s start with a confession: Time management is not my forte.

Being on time.
Judging how much I can achieve within a certain time.
Keeping track of the time.

No, I’m not good at any of it.

And then there is recalling time. Digging out moments from the past and trying to remember when they happened. I’m finding the older I become the deeper the pool fills with accumulated memories, making it harder to dive deep enough and retrieve anything.

Oh, I have no trouble recalling things like important dates and phone numbers. These are recurring after all, so after nearly 57 years you’d think I’d know them by now.

But general information, I’ve come to realise, does not get filed in my brain under dates and years.

Recalling Old Moments

I admire a person who can recall a specific moment from the past in perfect detail.

You know those people who can listen to a song and tell you it came out in September of 1984. Or recall a particular event they attended 10 years earlier down to the date, what happend, what they ate and even what they wore.

Ask me the same question and my brain decides to take the scenic route before settling on a place that is close, but not necessarily pinpoint accurate. For example, if you asked me when the song Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again by The Angels was released, I would have no idea. I would, however, be able to get close.

My memory will go straight to the earliest recollection, which is dancing the night away at the local Blue Light Disco on a Friday night. I was in that awkward age – not considered old enough to go all out with hair and makeup, but also no longer wanting to be considered a child so trying to make an effort to look as mature as my 15 year old self could be. The DJ would inevitably play this song and we would feel so daring and risque as we shouted the iconic Aussie reply at the top of our lungs. This would put the time around 1984. The song had been a big hit long before we got hold of it (and it still is) so I would guess it would be mid to late 70’s.

A Google search confirms it was originally released in 1976 and re-released in 1978.

Close enough.

The Comparison Game

I was having lunch with an old work colleague a few weeks ago. During our conversations on everything that had been happening over the last 8 years since we’ve seen each other, I was amazed at how easy it was for her to recall specific dates from her past. It intrigues me when people can do that because I’m completely incapable of performing this feat.

The thing that struck me the most was that, to me, they weren’t significant events that warranted remembering. I would call them more than simple everyday moments, but they were also not major milestones.

As much as I could appreciate the ease with which she rattled off dates, I couldn’t help but compare my own lack of ability in this area.

Because my friend is at least 10 years older than me, I left lunch feeling happy with the catchup but wondering if I should book an appointment with my GP and check for early onset dementia.

How did she do this?

Feeling Vindicated

I thought about it over the next few weeks (yes I know I mull over silly things) and came to the conclusion there’s nothing wrong with my memory. I play Numble. I play Sudoku. I play Tipping Point.

Although I have no answer for her apparent super brain, I have come to the conclusion regarding my own ability – or lack thereof.

I simply have my own unique indexing system.

While it may confuse others, it makes perfectly good sense to me. And it’s very simple.

My memories are stored under broad themes:

• Before School,
• Primary School,
• High School Years,
• Party/Exploring/Maturing Years,
• Stay At Home Mum Years,
• Working/Daily Grind Years,
• Empty Nest Years.

When I want to recall a memory it’s immediately put into one of these categories and I work forward or backwards depending on where I need to be. By knowing the general vicinity of where I am, I begin to remember what daily life was like, what I was doing, my friends at the time and most importantly, how I was feeling. Not foolproof but close enough.

Now I’m excited to add a new category: Retirement Years.

There are so many things I’m sure we are going to add to the memory pool over the coming years. Recalling them all may take a little longer as I get older but I’m sure I’ll get there in the end.

When I’m officially an old lady, I may not remember the exact date or even the year I retired but I will remember that I was nearly 57 and was happy and excited to see what the future brings. It may not be accurate but it will be close enough.

Close enough is good enough.